Making the Decision to Adopt

Before You Make the Decision to Adopt, Think About This…

The decision to adopt. Hmm, it started years ago.  Pretty much after my second son’s birth.  Maybe we’ll adopt our third.  Maybe adopt from Asia, so she and I have some similarities.  She.  I went through two healthy pregnancies and uneventful deliveries.  My boys are close in age.  My body went through two and a half years of being prenatal, postnatal and back again.  I l-o-v-e-d the experiences of having babies.  But I did not want to go through it a third time.  I just did not have the desire to go through another pregnancy and delivery.  I felt blessed that everything had happened normally and in a healthy manner.  I was worried about jinxing things.decision to adopt

We decided I would not return to work.  I stayed at home with the boys.  We moved a few times, packed up our belongings, unpacked, got settled.  We went through the milestones– breastfeeding, moms groups, sleep deprivation, weaning, solid foods, crawling, walking, teething, temper tantrums, potty training, setting limits, nightmares.  The boys got older. And yet, the thought, the wish, the need did not go away.  I did not feel like I was done.  One day at the beginning of a school year my son said, “When am I getting a little sister?” I think he was six.  He explained that all his friends had one, when was he getting one?

That started the dialogue with my husband. Was it two-way? I had so much to say on the matter.  He was no longer gung ho about the idea.  All those times we met a family who had adopted and he inquired about the process.  All those times he said:  we’re going to do that some day.  Now, he said he felt our family was complete and we were evenly matched with two boys, why rock the boat?  We went through months of talking.  I agonized over this.  I wanted this so badly.  I wanted more kids, I wanted to go through the preschool years again, I wanted a daughter.

Continue reading